


good one, point break

by thorodinsxns (courvoisierinmycoffee)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Everyone Loves Thor, M/M, Polyamory, infinity war? who is she
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 01:09:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14660091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courvoisierinmycoffee/pseuds/thorodinsxns
Summary: Thor is dating both Bruce and Peter.





	good one, point break

**Author's Note:**

> this crack and canon does not exist okay

  1. **The Revengers**



“Bruce and I are getting married.” Thor announced. He was standing before his throne, beaming happily as he waved a hand toward the man mentioned. Bruce shifted awkwardly, a hand reaching up to tug at his glasses, a nervous tick. The crowd before the couple was small, but it was made up of their closest friends, and Bruce feared their disapproval. Thor looked on unfazed.

Valkyrie snorted. “About time.” She commented, rolling her eyes. Still, she was smiling, seemingly pleased for the pair. If possible, Thor’s smile widened and he looked at Val in delight. “Congrats.”

It was Loki who stepped forward next, head tilted slightly. He moved close to Thor’s throne and the blond watched his brother with a wide eye. “Of course.” His lips quirked up in a slight smirk and Loki’s hand brushed across Thor’s shoulder briefly, a silent sign of affection. “May I offer my own congratulations?”

“Thank you, brother.” Thor nodded. 

Bruce watched him, anxiety fading at the obvious joy radiating from the god. It seemed as if he could finally relax, settle down and enjoy everything he had with Thor. After so long, Bruce was allowed to be happy. 

“Be kind to him.” Loki murmured as he passed Bruce, smirk in place. The Trickster’s narrowed eyes promised danger if Bruce did not do as demanded, but the man held his head high. Hurting Thor was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Korg, as expected, was delighted. Meik squeaked his own agreement as Korg’s soft voice congratulated the King. Thor wrapped the pair in a crushing hug and a few rocks crumbled from Korg’s body as the Kronan pulled back.

It was Heimdall who stepped forth last and his hand reached out to rest against Thor’s shoulder, the touch gentle. “You deserve this.” Heimdall told him and Thor’s smile softened. For a moment, he was silent, before the blond nodded slightly and whispered his thanks. 

Then, he turned toward Bruce, remaining eye bright and his smile beautiful, as he reached out toward his newly announced fiancé. “Banner,” He started, coming to embrace Bruce. They kissed quick and a dark blush decorated Bruce’s cheeks. “I love you.”

“You too, Thor.” 

 

  1. **The Guardians**



“I like you.” Thor told Quill, slapping a hand against the shorter’s back and giving him a toothy grin. 

In response, Peter found himself shrinking back. A little baffled, the Terran looked up at Thor -  _ stupid, gorgeous godly  _ Thor - and blinked owlishly at the blond. “You like me?” He questioned, doubtful. The pair had done nothing but argue with one another since they had met. The arguing wasn’t Quill’s fault, by the way. It was Thor’s, obviously, for being so ridiculously tall and attractive. Stupid pirate-angel. 

Thor smiled. “Yes. You are quite pathetic, but it is endearing.”  

“Thanks?” Peter said, unsure as to whether to take those words as a compliment or not. Hey! At least Thor seemed fond of him. It made Peter feel a little better about his unrequited crush. Gamora would probably find the news hilarious, too. 

“You are most welcome.” Thor’s hand moved to grip Peter’s shoulder. “I think we should go on a date. That is a human tradition, yes?” 

Peter snapped around to look at Thor properly, knocking the large hand from his shoulder and stepping back. His brows furrowed as he stared up at the taller figure, a little bit flustered and a lot lost for words. “Okay,” Quill drawled finally, taking another step backward. He laughed, uncomfortable. “Aren’t you and Banner like married?”

“Yes.” Thor nodded, as if that changed nothing. “I spoke to Banner and he agreed!”

“So, a date with you and your husband?”

Thor laughed, loud and booming. “No, of course not. That’s funny, Quill. No. Bruce does not like you as I do.”

“Of course not.” Peter huffed.

“But he said it was okay. We spoke about it for some time.” Thor smiled, soft at the thought of his husband. Peter liked the fondness Thor showed so easily at the thought of Bruce Banner, although found himself a little jealous - it would be nice if Thor looked at him like that. “So, a date?”

“Um,” Quill said, intelligently. 

“Oh, come on, Quill!” Rocket snapped, his seat twisting around in order to glare at Peter. He waved a hand, “Say yes already.”

“Listen to the rabbit.” Thor nodded.

Peter glanced between them both, shaking his head. “What about Gamora?” Because, hey, he was completely in love with her, even if Thor’s smile made his knees weaken and his muscles made Peter’s mouth water.

“Go for it.” Gamora said, making her way into the room. “You like him. He’s hot.”

Mantis skipped in beside Gamora, nodding enthusiastically. “Very much so! Would you like me tell me how much?” She smiled, moving to reach a hand out to Peter.

Quill stepped away from her, forcing himself closer to Thor. “No, thanks.”

Thor frowned, reaching out to touch Peter’s wrist. “No to the date?” He looked like a kicked puppy and Quill was quick to amend his mistake.

“No! I meant no to Mantis! Yes to the date!” 

And there it was. Thor’s incredible, toothy smile returned full force. Quill’s breath left him and he certainly forgot to breathe when Thor leaned in and kissed him, deep and long and  _ fucking amazing _ .

 

  1. **The Avengers**



The arrival of the Asgardian ship, along with Thor, Bruce, and an odd collection of aliens, had been a shock. It had been difficult to house, since Earth could hardly house its own people, yet what was left of Asgard was only a small race and after some difficult negotiation with too many officials, Tony had managed to find them land in Norway, exactly as Thor had insisted.

Once that was all sorted, it finally gave Thor’s misfit group and the Avengers some time down, a chance to catch up on all that had happened.

“This is Gamora,” Thor was rambling, introducing all his news friends to the Avengers. Steve greeted every one of them with a smile, whilst Natasha simply nodded, and Tony offered up a wave, mostly distracted by his conversation with Bruce. Wanda and Vision were both disinterested, but Peter was excited and happy to meet them all. The teenager had taken a liking to the alien with antennas, although he also seemed a bit frightened too, in Tony’s opinion.

“And Quill! My boyfriend.” Everyone glanced over at that, surprised. The man in question winked and gave them all a charming smile. “We’re dating.” 

“Brucie,” Tony started, the first to speak. His friend looked mostly unbothered, but he was tugging at his sleeves, a recognisable trait of his. Tony frowned. “I thought you said you and Thor were together. Which is still weird, by the way.”

Bruce shrugged. “We’re married?”

“You’re married to Thor?” Natasha interrupted, a brow raised. She looked hurt for a second, but was quick to recover.

Thor, meanwhile, nodded enthusiastically. His friend, the Asgardian who could drink all of them under the table, bared her teeth in a fake smile. “Problem?” 

Tony held his hands up in defence. “Just worried about my buddy. You’re all dating, then?”

“No. Bruce is my husband and Quill is my boyfriend. Banner doesn’t like Quill that way.” Thor laughed. “And Quill is with Gamora too.”

Right. Tony could get on board with this. Spidey seemed calm too, a little too understanding if his shy smile meant anything. Wanda was dating a robot, so she could hardly judge. Rogers’ smile was soft too, albeit somewhat confused, yet he was ultimately happy for Thor.

“Okay.” Tony nodded eventually. “Good one, Point Break.”

Thor beamed, pleased with himself. “I love them both deeply.” He nodded, “I’m glad you all understand and support us!”

It was silent for a moment, before Clint raised his hand, pointing toward the green-clad figure hiding in the corner.

“Can we talk about Loki being back on Earth now?”


End file.
